Random Musings

I saw a huge hoarding of some Chatrapati Yoga Maharaj (what a terrible name to have!) who has decided to go an indefinite hunger strike against terrorism (or something along those lines) in a glass room.
Now I have two questions
1) How does it help if Mr. Yoga Maharaj goes on a hunger strike? Does he think Osama Bin Laden is going to be moved to tears by his thoughtful gesture and permanently renounce his activities?

2) Why, I mean WHY a glass room? He can fast if he wants to. There are plenty of loonies like him craving for publicity. But why a glass room? I have no issues with glass rooms as such but still! What difference is it going to make if the room is made of glass or wood? All the photographers who he thinks are going to hound him can click his pictures in any room! Or does Mr. Laden have a fancy for glass rooms…?

Have you ever come across a disinterested beggar at a signal? He will come up to you so lethargically and ask for money. Even while he is asking for money he will be looking at something else, completely disinterested in you or your money. He won’t persist if you refuse. He will just walk away without looking back.
I mean seriously atleast try to make me feel sorry for you! Make me want to give you some money! Don’t just do it for the sake of doing it! It is your job. Shouldn’t you take it seriously?
I can hear a lot of people clicking their tongues at me for making fun of poor people. I’ll stop now. Please don’t hate me.

I was watching the news this afternoon. The CBI has given Jagdish Tytler a clean chit in the 1984 riots case and needless to say the Sikhs have not taken this news too kindly. So they decided to protest outside the Congress HQ. In a symbolic protest, some random man was playing a dummy Jagdish Tytler and 5 others were pretending to hit him with a chappal. One bloke there took his job a little too seriously and was actually thrashing that guy with his chappal. Honestly it was rather funny! Poor Mr. dummy Tytler! I’ll bet that’s not what he expected when he signed up for that job.

See disinterested beggars? This is what you call taking your job seriously :)

Do you remember the show ‘Kids Say the Darndest Things’ hosted by Bill Cosby? For those who haven’t seen that show, Cosby used to interview these kids who said the most amusing things unintentionally and with such innocence. Now see those were the good old days when kids were kids-untouched by consumerism, technology and all that jazz. But kids these days…..tsk tsk…


My closest friends call me Twiggy. Not too many people know the story behind that. We were shooting for some project in Dobu’s building and we needed a few kids for the shoot. There was this group of kids playing nearby and so we went and asked them. You know how every group has this jackass who thinks he is supercool? Well, this group had one too. This ten year old boy looks at me and goes, “Oh my god! She looks like a twig!” And I was too shocked to respond. When I was ten, I would never have even thought of insulting a random stranger. I’m not even sure I knew what a twig was when I was ten! And that is how i came to be known as Twiggy...
***
I was walking on the street today and there was this little girl who was a little over 2 feet walking behind me. Now she kept stepping on my chappals and I almost tripped thanks to her. I didn’t expect a sorry or anything but then she walked ahead of me, looked back and gave ME a disgusted look! And I’m like, wait I second did I do something wrong here? Now I can’t just let that kid get away with something like that. So I stuck my tongue out at her and made an equally disgusted face. Aha! Take that! Sorry Missy, two can play at that game!

You are not my adversary, but my enemy
You are the master and I am your slave

You laugh at my tears
You mock my struggles

You killed my soul
You crushed my spirit and throttled my dreams
And look what I have become

You made me a widow
You made me an orphan

You made me feel rage
You made me feel helpless
You made me feel like a pariah

You are the face of terror
You are the oppressor
You are the murderer
And I am your faceless victim.......

A Strange Meeting

“Do you know what’s wrong with the world today?” I asked him, breaking the silence. He seemed slightly taken aback and looked around for a while before he realized I was talking to him. He opened his mouth to answer but changed his mind at the last minute and just shook his head.

It was very unlike me to be talking to a complete stranger, a random guy sitting next to me in the park. But for the first time in my life I didn’t care. He didn’t know me. He wouldn’t judge me. He might just think that I’m insane; but it’s not like I’m ever going to meet him again in any case! And besides, I had no one else to talk to. Or should I say no one else who would listen to me.

“Everything is a lie. Everyday is a lie. Look at all these people around you. See that man running there? He looks confident and smart right? The kind of person who is in control. But I’ll bet he is looking over his shoulder and wondering if anyone can see through his charade. See that woman on the phone? The one who is smiling? I’m sure there is a lie behind that smile. Look at them! Each one appears so happy, so content and secure. But if you can look through them, you’ll realize that each one is thinking about how miserable his or her life is. Each one is trying to deal with his fallacies, his limitations but each one puts up this façade of confidence. We all go through the rigours of life pretending to be happy so that no one sees that we are vulnerable. It’s all one big lie I tell you!”

He looked straight into my eyes and listened intently as I kept ranting away. I had to admit, it felt nice to have someone to open up to. Even if it was someone I didn’t know. Atleast this guy didn’t get up and walk away like the others.

“You know, we kid ourselves into believing we are something we are not. And then we spend out whole lives trying to live up to that. We…I…I made myself believe that I had talent and potential and that I was going to make it big. Sadly at some point reality always catches up with you. And there it stands with a sadistic smile all set to brutally murder your make-believe world.”

He wasn’t that bad looking. His rimless glasses and immaculate attire gave him a very sophisticated look. His intense brown eyes had this intriguing aura to it. It was almost as if he could see right into your soul.

“I thought I could write. Everyone besides me doesn’t seem to think so. I’m pretty much a failure. Not a single thing I have written has ever been published; another day, another rejection. And it is strange because I always believed that this is what I was meant to do, you know. Writing was my purpose, my mission in life. Do you believe we all come into this world with a pre-destined mission? That there is a reason for our existence? Have you found your purpose in life?”

He shifted a little and cleared his throat. Suddenly he seemed ill at ease.

“Oh! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to pry. It is none of my business is it? I guess I got carried away. I…I….I should be heading now. Thank you for listening to me. And I didn’t mean to tell you my sob story and disturb you. It all just…came out. I feel so much better right now, just having someone to listen to me. Thank you…You have no idea how grateful I am…I’ll never forget you...I don’t even know your name. What’s….Actually never mind, it is probably better like this. Goodbye.”

I stood up and turned my back towards him. I let out a sigh and took a few tentative steps. I smiled for no apparent reason and continued walking. Suddenly I stopped to take one last look at my silent, mysterious farishta. I turned around and saw him get up. He walked into the crowds and the last thing I remember seeing before being thrown backwards was his body exploding as a huge blast ripped through the park.

Random Thoughts..

What does on in a man's head before he dies?

Does he see the famous white light

Or does he see the darkness that lies ahead?

Does he see ghosts from his past

Or does he see his future vanishing?

Does he see his friends and family

Or does he see the ones he hurt?

Does he feel justified for the path he has chosen

Or does he regret his deeds?

Is he thankful for the graces he received

Or does he depart with bitterness at the oppourtunties missed?

Does he feel he needs a second chance

Or does he wish his ordeal will finally end?

Does he wonder if he'll be missed

Or is his last breath a sigh of relief,

That the world will finally be rid of him?

Fool's Paradise

This is in response to Henna's post...

I used to be an idealist until i realised i was being an idiot. So well the kinda world i wanted to live in then and now has changed a bit.... Im not proud of it, but here goes...

1) I wanted to live in a world where people wouldnt be apathetic and oblivious to the suffering around them. And today I have become just that...

2) I wanted to live in a world where people lived according to their convictions and principles. And somwhere along the line, i lost mine.

3) I wanted to live in a world where people stood up for a cause, fought for what is right and lived with the knowledge that they contributed, in some way, in making this world a better place. Today, i have given up on all the issues that were close to my heart, issues i was passionate about...i know i have done nothing significant in my life...

4) I wanted to live in a world where i knew i was being a good person. Today, i feel everything but that...

5) oh and yeah..a world where there is 'world peace.....' heheheheheehehe

ps- yeah i know this is a very emotional and personal post and its very unlike me to be even talking about these things publicly. i dunno why i am writing about all of this here, but yeah, its not like any of you care anyway...;)

blame it on cats, monkeys and chaddi!

Once upon a time, there lived a boy I cant name. If i did name this boy, he would kill my family and castrate my cat (and if you havent got whom in talking about already, then you really are daft!).

Now this boy is quite a character. Besides having a gay homophobic boyfriend (dont ask...its complicated...), he also has this weird fixation with silver shiny objects. Now you can give this man a million dollars and be sure that he would keep it safely but never...and i repeat...never... entrust him with any breakable object...not even chalk! This boy who cant be named will watch the most violent, bloody movies on earth and trick others into watching them too...but his favorite movie is kuck kuch hota hain...!!!

The genesis of his retardedness lies in a tragic tale of cats and monkeys which left him scarred for life. But since i fear for my security, I shall refrain from narrating that story....

But do not be afraid, ladies and gentlemen, of this specimen. He is rather nice once you get used to him and his sense of humour. He is quite a sport actually and is even willing to risk embarrassment and dance with dobu and me. And yes, someday the two of us plan to start a band...be afraid...very very afraid!

He might do a lot of stupid things but his heart is in the right place. When you are in the worst of moods you can call the bugger...He will give you the suckiest advice on earth but he will manage to cheer you up nonetheless. And last but not the least, the imagery of him and amogh doing..er...will stay with me forever.....PEACE!!

Ps- I know, I know, I should update my blog more often...