damnit another tagged response!!ten things i hate........

1) sweet stuff: i cant eat or drink anything that is too sweet.pls refer to the other tagged response for more coz im too bored to explain further....

2) gajar ka halwa and jalebi: i know this falls in the same category as (1) but it still deserves a special mention.one look at these two things is enough to make me wanna puke...

3) taxis: someone pls tell me why ricks are not allowed beyond bandra.taxis are just no match for those magical three wheelers.i always feel claustrophobic in a cab.

4) insects: god's most meaningless creation!!! how i hate these yucky creatures(actually its more of fear...hehehe)!!i wish avery single one of them would just die die die.

5) fake accents: whats with salman khan and his aussie+texan+indian +martian=?accent........aaarrrggghhhhhhhhh.......hate it!

6) Mornings- Im just not a morning person. I dont understand how people can be all chirpy n bubbly in the mornings.

7) Reliance- wasnt my previous rant enough for you?

8) Doctors- I dont really hate doctors per say... Its just that i'm not really fond of going to doctors because of the medicines they give n also coz im a retard n i feel goin to docs just makes you a panzy........hehehe.....oh btw i like injections...im a wee bit psychotic..does that explain my behaviour?

9) colgate: ok now im just running out of things that i hate...so im including random things in this list...

10) tagged: being made to write ten things i hate!!! :P:P:P

meaningless rant

i found a new hobby...calling the @#$%^$$#@%# at reliance and yelling at them. it takes me like a million years to get internet connection on my laptop and not surprisingly it takes a minute after that to get disconected.its sooooooooooooo pissing off....sometimes i wish i was a donkey(pls refer to donkey love). i have called up reliance so many times coz of this i think i know the name of all their call centre employees. speaking of call centre employees, most of the times i cant even understand what the hell those guys are talking!!so i call up their help line n yell my heart and soul out at some guy and tell him i want to speak to his senior. now there is actually no point doing this coz the senior dude is going to say the same thing(sorry maam we seem to be having network problems blah blah). but i still do it! and then i proceed to yell my lungs and kindeys out this time at the senior guy. he of course apologies and shit and then comes up with a gem,"maam here is the email id of my senior.pls send him a mail." well, dumbass how the hell am i supposed to send anyone a mail without connection?!?!
I think i have started enjoying this now. i call them up and yell even if im not using the internet just for fun! they seem to be getting smarter these days though. they dont transfer me to their senior any more. im pretty sure, if possible, they will try to block my calls very soon.
the rant ends here. i have to study. acha ok bye

whats with guys and denying that they gossip too?what they do is called "discussing important events in others people's lives behind their backs."c'mon we all know that every human being alive on earth gossips....its just that the levels vary...
level 1: do you think she has a crush on him?? do you think he likes her or is he just flirting?she is a bitch.
level 2: they are dating!!i always knew they had feeling for each other.....i dont know why they didnt tell us......she is a bitch.
level 3: is that a hickey??dude that guy is one heck of a player!!!she is a bitch.
level 4: how far do you think they have gone??they slept together didnt they?? she is a bitch.

donkey love

i like donkeys. i'm talking about the four legged ones and not the human ones. have you ever seen a donkey near a pavement? it is just THERE..oblivious to the world around it. it seems to be at peace with itself and everyone around. it can just stand there for hours without moving a muscle. its the kind of peace and solitude that us earthlings have always searched for.. oh and the best part, they can kick you if you piss them off! i have always wanted to do that.....unlike cows they dont have that disgusting, sticky thing(a thousand apologies...i cant remember the word im looking for!) hanging from their nose and mouth. and horses are just plain arrogant with their nice gait n shit...but donkeys..these poor, humble, not-so-good looking creatures just mind their own business

.......and you call donkeys stupid! shame on you!

tagged

this is in response to tanmay's post...6 quirks/habits of mine....

1) I make funny faces everytime i take the first bite/sip of whatever i'm eating/drinking. Looli actually filmed me drinking water because i refused to believe her when she told me this. I was made to eat humble pie(yes i made my funny face again!).



2) I love travelling by rickshaws that play reaaaaaaaaaally sad c-grade songs from Bhojpuri movies. Actually i dont mind listening to any musi(yes amogh trance included!) in a rick. You will actually see me grooving to the music!! I dunno what it is about those wonderful three wheelers..



3) I complain miserably if what im drinking is too sweet. ask amogh or sharu...:) my list of sweet drinks includes tea(sugarwater....sheesh!!), frooti, mazaa....... I HAVE to drink coffee with just the perfect amount of sugar in it or sugar free.

4) I mess up the lyrics of EVERY song i sing. I just cant seem to remember them so i just put in random words that pop into my head. Toh phir ta hoon main london, paris, newyork....er...mumbai?delhi?
Oh and the best part, the menons n me keep singing bohemian raphsody together in different pitches n tunes...untill we were banned from singing that song...so we switched to hey jude...:)

5) As a kid, i refused to wear clothes(that phase has thankfully come to an end!). A second after my mother used to dress me up in those little floral frocks, i ripped them apart(not literally).

6) I hate saying good morning. I'm all sleepy and groggy in the morning and then some annoying soul with an even more annoying smile will come and say good morning(I wonder whats so good about his morning...). And im obilgated to reply so i just wave my hand cause it too much of an effort to open my mouth. Oh and i have no problems saying good night/evening/afternoon.

some more words

so words seem to be the flavour du jour....sharanya, amogh n now me......only difference being most of these words have been made by me...:)

DISCLAIMER: do not ask for the point/logic/usage of these words

blukbluk- the sound bubbles make..dont ask me its usage in a sentence but its a lotta fun making that sound!!!

phudphud- a different way to pronounce purple.....got bored saying purple...ya i know that makes no sense...but what the heck!!

godify- murdering the word deitify

dobu/dibu- this ones my favourite! praCChi's new OFFICIAL name. I cant explain the origins of this word. but anyone who knows dobu will understand why i call her this.

Blah Again.

I am talentless. I can’t sing. I can’t dance. Actually I can dance. But my dance seems more like I’m trying to defy gravity. I think I inherited this from my father. The only difference being, he attempts to defy gravity, time and space all at once! As for singing, being a good little south Indian (formerly atleast!) I learnt Carnatic music briefly. When I ran out of excuses for not going, I decided to ‘officially’ quit. Not that I’m here to complain about my lack of any talent whatsoever. Au contraire, I see it as a blessing. Can you imagine what it feels like to go to random people’s houses and on request sing/dance there? You are just reduced to being an exhibitionist (ahem….or maybe not!)

Example: Mr. X, Mrs. X and Beta x had come home the other day. Superson Beta x sadly was a good singer. Needless to say, as soon as my family found out about it (not that finding out about that was difficult since Mr. X and Mrs. X did of course drop such obvious hints you would have been a idiot not to notice) Beta x was forced to sing. And sing he did! Which song you ask? Poor lil Beta x was made to sing every blessed song besides the national anthem (thank the lord for those small mercies)! Mr. X and Mrs. X’s faces were beaming so radiantly with pride that I had to shut my eyes to prevent permanent damage. Surprisingly, my family seemed immune to their abnormal bioluminescence since they were deeply engrossed in the music (No, they didn’t pull out any lighters, it was more of head shaking). And all throughout this musical extravaganza, Beta x was squirming with embarrassment at all the attention he was getting.

Now don’t get me wrong! I’m for singing and head shaking or whatever, but when I have something important to do, I don’t like people intruding and sticking their asses on my couch for hours together (In this case, the important thing to do was watch filmfare..hehehe!). All my puppy dog faces, scowls and grunts were completely ignored and to make maters worse Khandan X were forced to have dinner at home. And the embarrassemt didnt end there for Beta x. Stories were excavated from the dungeons of his life, turned, twisted and narrated like they had all happened yesterday. My heart goes out to all you talented blokes out there who have to give display their skills wherever you go. Actually, I would love it if some ignorant chap, who has never heard me sing, asks for a performance. I’d love to see the look on his face when I break into, “Meri pant bhi sexy, meri shirt bhi sexy….!”

Blah.

I hate marriages. Now wait! Before you can bombard me with the whole sacred-institution-of-matrimony discourse let me clarify. Its not marriages I have a problem with, it is more the aunt infestation I’m likely to encounter there that creeps me out. No, I said aunt infestation, not ant infestation! Allow me to explain..

I was at a random relative’s wedding. From a distance, I saw aunt no. 123 of mine coming charging towards me. I said my prayers and braced myself for the onslaught that was soon to follow. “Oh!! You look so thin!!” she said. “Nice meeting you too,” I replied wryly. Has it ever occurred to her that SHE might be fat and that’s why I APPEAR thin? I toyed with the idea of calling her fat for a while as she rambled on about me looking like a starved Somalian refugee but then decided to let it pass. Just then, she was interjected by aunt no. 198 who felt it was her moral duty to tell me that I had grown since she had last seen me, which was probably like a million years ago!! “You were so small when I saw you the last time. Now you are so big!” Well correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that how the life cycle proceeds?

What’s worse than one rambling aunt you ask? How about two aunts rambling at the same time!! Well after 19 minutes and 20 seconds (yes, I was actually counting seconds!) the Gods decided to show me some mercy and the rambling twosome decided that they had tortured this poor, hapless, thin child sufficiently and went on the look out for another victim. Without wasting a second, I ran for my life. I cowered down in one corner of the hall hoping and praying that I had managed to escape the aunt-radar.

Oh but no, the ordeal sadly continued. The Gods really do hate me!! Out sprang aunt no. 238 out of nowhere and smilingly asked, “Do you know who I am?” Oh! I know the answer to this one, I said triumphantly. “You are my mother’s-brother’s-wife’s-second cousin’s-husband’s neighbour.” “No, no darling!” she replied looking at me disapprovingly. “I’m your mother’s-brother’s-wife’s-second cousin’s-husband’s-neighbour’s third cousin.” Third cousin! You mean there is actually something like that? That was followed by a never ending lecture on the importance of knowing your relatives. Oh and to rub salt on my wounds, the food at the wedding tasted like horse poop!

And if you still don’t sympathize with me, let me tell you that this isn’t a one off incident. It is more of a ritual followed by all aunts at every wedding I attend. Yes that’s right! From aunt no 1 to aunt no 420! You might ask me a logical, rational explanation for their behaviour. The only explanation I can find, are in the words of a certain Mr. Bertram Wooster who remarked, “Aunts aren’t gentlemen!”